I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
