sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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