I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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