So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
