Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize