Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
