He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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