Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
