Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize