so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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