My room smells like vodka and shame
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
