nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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