..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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