He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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