It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
