is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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