Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
