ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
