I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
