who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
