I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize