We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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