apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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