Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Someone shit on the floor
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
