That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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