Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
cat food counts as protein by the way
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
last night I used snow as a chaser
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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