I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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