Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
