I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
