Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
