I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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