I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize