they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
