We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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