i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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