My first STD was from a foam party
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
