He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
