Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
