This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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