i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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