She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
