I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
