this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
