She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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