it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
