...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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