D3 body, D1 cock
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Couch. On fire.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
