i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
