Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
