Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
