when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
