Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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