How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Randomize
