she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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