normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
