btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
