Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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