his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
this just has baby written all over it
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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